I-message
Sign in to saveAn I-message or I-statement is a form of interpersonal communication in which speakers express their feelings, beliefs, or values from the first-person perspective, usually beginning with I. It contrasted with "you-message" or "you-statement", which often begins with you and focuses on the listener, usually carrying accusatory language.
~8 min read
Article
8 sectionsContents
- I-message construction
- Conflict resolution
- Shifting gears
- Use of the concept
- Emotional reactions
- See also
- Notes
- References
An I-message or I-statement is a form of interpersonal communication in which speakers express their feelings, beliefs, or values from the first-person perspective, usually beginning with I. It contrasted with "you-message" or "you-statement", which often begins with you and focuses on the listener, usually carrying accusatory language.
This term was coined in the 1960s by Thomas Gordon who discussed the concept in his book, P.E.T.: Parent Effectiveness Training (1970). Some sentences that begin with I are not I-messages because the speakers are expressing their perceptions, observations, assumptions, or criticisms (e.g. "I feel you are being defensive").